I still ponder a lot about how I should be handling certain grief in my life. What is the right thing to say to a person when they ask me that dreaded question? [“When are you getting married”] If you have recently asked me that question, I’m sorry if I reacted badly, or didn’t react at all, because honestly I don’t know how to react. I know there might be some standard answer where I can pull out a note card and read a line or two that sums everything up and the other nods and says, “Well, it’s for the best.”
I also could break down and tell it all too, where the listener would get so uncomfortable they would just walk away. But, how do we deal with grief in our life? If you follow my writing you will see that I will talk about grief continuously. I feel like God is calling me to a life of grief. This summer I will be a pastoral care intern and I plan on going to law school to be a family attorney who truly counsels, not just clocks up the billable hours. (I understand I have a very naive approach to family law).
But, the question of how are we doing? Or, what you are not getting married? How do we respond to those questions? How do we ask those questions? How can we truly empathize with people?
The question of how are you? In fact, is no more a question than the sky is blue today. How are you is simply answered with a how are you? Take time to empathize with someone to be there for someone when they need you. People are hurting everywhere around us. We need each other with the grace of Jesus Christ to make it through this life because I don’t think it gets much better. I truly am starting to believe grief is around every corner, but it is how we handle the grief and how we react to rough times.
Like Dr. King once said:
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
When I was making my decision this summer on what job I was going to accept I had a professor, Randy Harris, tell me that the grief I was going through was preparing me to do work at Lifeline, to be able to relate more and more with those I talk to in the hospitals. If I get the privilege to practice law, I do not want to forget about the people I am working for I want to be there for them in any way possible. I want to be a genuine follower of Christ who helps those by being genuine and authentic in faith and in life. God has given me a gift of grief, of setbacks that I with the Lord am overcoming to be the person God wants me to be.
God mold me in your image to be a better servant to those around me. To remember not only those far away, but my neighbors next door. To know that we are all broken, in need of a savior, saved by grace, that your Son showed us.